Episode 13 – “Relearning Joy and Play: Life Beyond Survival”

Episode 13 – “Relearning Joy and Play: Life Beyond Survival” 

Learning to Feel Joy Again 

After trauma, joy and play can feel unsafe, fake, or downright wrong. This episode gently explores why your nervous system may distrust joy and how Scripture actually presents God as a God of delight, not just seriousness. You’ll be introduced to the idea of “micro‑joy”—tiny, doable moments of safe enjoyment—and guided through a reflection to notice where joy might already be quietly present in your life. No toxic positivity, just an invitation to taste small pieces of goodness again. 

Primary Scriptures for this episode (feel free to pause and look them up): 

• Nehemiah 8:10 – “The joy of the Lord is your strength.”
• Psalm 16:11 – Fullness of joy in God’s presence.
• John 10:10 – Life to the full.
• Zephaniah 3:17 – God rejoices over you with singing.
• Matthew 18:1–3 – Becoming like little children.

In our next episode, we’ll talk about rebuilding rhythms and routines—how daily practices (spiritual, emotional, and physical) can support your healing without becoming rigid rules or another way to judge yourself.

Until then, may you notice even one small moment of joy—and may you know that it’s okay to receive it.

With fierce love and unshakeable faith,
I’m Rev. Stormyee, and this is Wholeness.

Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Welcome to wholeness with Reference Dormy Edmondson. A space for healing, faith, and kingdom purpose. I'm Reference Dormy Edmondson, ordained minister, Christian life coach, and your companion on the journey from trauma to triumph. Here we talk about the real things: healing from pain, renewing the mind, building holy boundaries, growing in faith, and walking boldly in the calling God has placed on your life. Whether you're in a season of survival, restoration, or thriving, this is your reminder that God sees you, God is with you, and your story is not over. So take a deep breath, settle your heart, and listen for what the Lord wants to speak to you today. You are welcome here. You are seen, and you are being restored here. Life beyond survival. Primary scriptures for this episode, feel free to pause to look them up. Nehemiah chapter eight, verse ten The joy of the Lord is your strength. Psalm sixteen, verse eleven, fullness of joy in God's presence. John chapter ten verse ten life to the full. Zephaniah chapter three, verse seventeen. God rejoices over you with singing. Matthew, chapter eighteen, verses one through three, becoming like little children! Welcome back to wholeness with Reverend Stormy. We've spent the last episode talking about setbacks and bad days and how they don't disqualify you from healing. Before that, we looked at shame, identity, and purpose. Today, we're going to step into a topic that can feel distant or even suspicious for many trauma survivors. Joy and play. This episode is called Relearning Joy and Play, Life Beyond Survival. We're going to explore why joy and play often feel unsafe after trauma. How scripture in God's heart actually makes room for joy. Gentle, realistic ways to begin tasting joy again without bypassing your pain. If you've ever thought to yourself, I don't remember how to have fun. Or joy feels dangerous or fake. Then this episode is for you. Let's take a moment to pray. Heavenly Father, you see how serious life has to be for many of us just to survive. You also see the parts of us that still long to laugh, to enjoy, to rest. Would you make space today for joy that doesn't deny pain but coexist with it? Do just what it means to be safe enough to play again. In Jesus' name. Amen. Take a deep breath in and out. You don't have to force joy, you're just inviting it to consider. For many survivors, joy and play are not neutral. They can feel unsafe. Every time I let my guard down, something bad happens. Immature. I had to grow up too fast. Fun's for other people. Suspicious. If I relax, I'll miss the danger. Invalidating. If I enjoy anything, does that mean that my pain doesn't matter? You might notice that you feel guilty when you laugh. You're always on, scanning for what's next. You struggle to rest without feeling lazy or irresponsible. You downplay things you enjoy as no big deal. If your nervous system had lived in survival mode, joy and play can feel like a threat because they require you to soften, to be present, to let something good in. You may also have been in environments where seriousness was seen as spiritual maturity. Any enjoyment was called worldly or distracting. People suffering around you made joy feel selfish. So your body and spirit may have learned that it's better to stay tense than to be caught off guard. That doesn't make you joy resistant by nature. It means your system has been trying to protect you. Segment two God's heart for joy. Scripture paints a picture of a God who is not allergic to joy. In Nehemiah chapter 8, verse 10, it says, The joy of the Lord is your strength. This is spoken to a people who had wept as they heard the law read and realized how far they had fallen. God's response includes, Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Joy doesn't erase grief, it strengthens you in it. Psalm 16 verse 11 says, You make known to me the path of life, you will fill me with your joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Joy is pictured as part of being close to God, but not separate from him. In John chapter 10, verse 10, Jesus says, I have come that they may have life and have it to the full. Fullness includes meaning, yes, but also delight and peace and enjoyment of God's good gifts. God rejoices over his people with singing. God is not only serious, he is also rejoicing, singing, delighting in his children. When we talk about joy and play, we're not talking about denying trauma. We're talking about slowly receiving what God has always desired for his children. A life that includes moments of delight, laughter, and rest. Listen as if Jesus is speaking to the part of you that tenses up around joy and play. My beloved, I know why joy feels dangerous to you. I know the times when you've relaxed and harm came. I know the birthdays, holidays, and happy moments that were ruined by chaos or abuse. I do not shame you for being cautious. Your body learned to survive. But I also want you to know this. I created you for more than constant tension. I created you for moments of laughter, creativity, and rest. Enjoy is not a betrayal of your pain. It is a sign that your pain does not get the final word. I will not force you to be happy. I will invite you gently into small moments of safe delight. One step at a time. Take a breath. Notice what's happening in your body when you imagine Jesus inviting you, not commanding you, to taste the small joys again. But the gospel also shows he attended weddings in John II, and turned water into wine as his first recorded miracle, keeping the celebration going. He shared meals with friends and sinners, often enough to be accused of being a glutton and drunkard, in Luke chapter 7, verse 34. A slander, but it shows he was around tables with laughter and food. He welcomed children, saying in Matthew chapter 18, verse 3 that we must become like little children to enter the kingdom of heaven. Children who play, trust, and express themselves freely. Jesus lived a life that included deep seriousness and sacrifice, that is true. But also of real enjoyment of people, food, celebration, and connection. If Jesus, the most spiritually mature person, made room for joy, celebration, and childlike presence, then joy and play are not unspiritual, they are part of being fully human. Segment five microjoy. Tiny doable steps. When trauma has been intense, we don't jump from numbness to I'm living my best life. We start with microjoy. These are small, simple moments that are as safe as possible, grounded in your current season. Not performative or forced. Microjoy might be feeling the warmth of a mug in your hands, noticing a bird, a tree, or the sky for a few moments. Listening to a song that makes your shoulders drop a little. Watching a short, funny video and letting yourself chuckle without apologizing. Coloring, doodling, journaling, with no productivity goal in mind. Taking a slow walk and letting your body move gently. The goal's not to manufacture big feelings, is to let your nervous system experience here in this small moment nothing bad is happening. Over time, these micro joys can add up. And this helps your system learn that it's possible to feel something other than tension. Exercise. Let's do a simple exercise. If it's safe, take a comfortable breath. You don't have to close your eyes unless it feels okay to you. And ask yourself, past joy. Can I remember a time in my life, even a small one, when I felt a sense of joy, play, or delight? Maybe childhood moments. Music, nature, a hobby, a friend, or a pet. Notice what comes to mind. If nothing comes, that's okay. Just acknowledge that. Present joy. Is there anything right now in this season that brings me even a tiny bit of a enjoyment or relief? A certain drink, a show, a creative outlet, a quiet morning, a particular place in your home. Name that one thing. Accessible joy. What is one tiny thing I could try this week that might feel a little enjoyable or soothing? It doesn't have to be deep, but just something that doesn't feel threatening to you. Now imagine Jesus sitting with you as you name these things and hear him say, I'm not asking you to fake happiness. I'm inviting you to notice my gifts, even in small ways, and to let your heart taste a little relief. You might even whisper Jesus. Help me notice these micro expressions of joy this week. Segment seven reflection, questions, and homework. Here are some questions you can sit with this week. What messages did I receive about joy and play growing up? Were they encouraged? Ashamed, ignored, when I think about joy, what emotions arise? Longing, fear, numbness, cynicism, where in my body do I feel tension when I imagine relaxing or playing? For homework, choose one of the following. Option one, microjoy practice. Choose one tiny safe thing that brings you a hint of enjoyment. A song, a warm drink, a brief walk, drawing, intentionally do it two to three times this week, even for a few minutes, and while you do say Jesus, thank you for this small moment of joy. Option two, a joy list. Make a list of ten things, big or small, that might bring some joy or comfort. Some can be from the past, and some can be new ideas. You don't have to do them all. You're just giving your heart options. Option three, childlike prayer. Read Matthew chapter 18, verses 1 through 3 about becoming like little children. Then ask Jesus, what would it look like for me to become slightly more childlike with you? Not childish, but open and honest. Write down any thoughts or pictures that come to mind. Friends, reconnecting with joy and play after trauma is not shallow. It is sacred. You're not betraying your pain when you laugh. You're revealing that your pain is not the only truth about your life. The God who weeps with you also rejoices with you and over you. The Jesus who sits with you in your darkest moments also invites you to experience moments of delight and rest. Let us pray. Heavenly Father, Lord Jesus, I thank you that you are not only a man of sorrows, but also the giver of joy. You understand trauma, and you also dream of a life for us that is more than survival. For every listener who feels numb, suspicious, or afraid of joy, I ask, meet them gently in that place and show them one small way to experience safe, grounded joy. Let them know that they don't have to earn joy or they are invited to receive it. Tease their nervous system that it is possible in your presence to feel something other than tension and let joy become little by little a source of strength, not pressure. In your heavenly name. Amen. In our next episode, we'll talk about rebuilding rhythms and routines, how daily practices, spiritual, emotional, and physical, can support your healing without becoming rigid rules or another way to judge yourself. Until then, may you notice even one small moment of joy, and may you know that it's okay to receive it with fierce love and unshakable faith. I'm Reverend Stormy, and this is wholeness.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

To trust in Jesus, just to trust his cleansing blood, and in sinful faith to plunge healing, cleansing Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him, how I print him or Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus for grace to trust him. Yes, it's sweet to trust in Jesus, just from sin and self to seek, just from Jesus, simply taking life and rest and joy. How I through him Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus over a trace sweeter, there's nothing better. And the glory is there.